Look for an opportunity to be remarkable

Inspired by Srini Rao’s talk, Don’t Look for a Job: Look for An Opportunity to Be Remarkable, I reflected on the many opportunities to be remarkable. If you haven’t seen this video, I recommend you take a listen to what Srini says. His remarks are valid for both college students as well as seasoned professionals.

I’ve thought about ways I’ve tried to be remarkable in my own life, and what might apply for other situations as well.

Work life:

• Look for ways to stream line processes. Oftentimes, a certain process exists in a company, because “that’s the way we have always done this.” Be an innovator and a problem solver and look for ways to automate tasks, or cut out the fluff. I’m a software tester by profession, and I really try to automate 80% of my tasks. This lets me focus on the remaining 20%, which is usually the really hard stuff.
• Question whether you really need to be at that meeting. Unfortunately, some companies have many meetings, and there exists the culture of having pre-meeting meetings. If you don’t really think you need to be there, say so. Ask if you can just get the summary of decisions made. This way, you will have more time to...
• Focus on your most important project. If you don’t know what this is, ask your manager or boss. Find out what the most important thing is that you need to be working on today, and work on fulfilling that. When I arrive at work each morning, I ask myself this question. I periodically will discuss this with my manager to make sure that our goals are synchronized.

Now I realize that these tips are probably not what Srini had in mind. I assume that you already have a job, and are looking for ways to be remarkable there. I also believe that there are ways to be remarkable beyond the 9 to 5.


Life in general:

• Give your stuff away. This last weekend, I was gathering up our old baby gear, and was planning on taking it to a local resale shop to see if they needed any of it. Some things, like portacribs, are not accepted at Goodwill, so, I might as well try to make a buck if I can. I have also asked other expectant parents if they needed any of this, but hadn’t found a good home for everything. But, then my partner, D, asked an expectant co-worker if they needed anything. She said yes, and was so grateful for the offer. Her husband has been out of work, and they only had bought a crib. I feel so helpful that I can give them our old car seat/stroller combo, as you need a car seat to leave the hospital with your newborn.
• Invite people over. Whether for a meal, or to stay the night, people thrive on human interaction. Make memories for your family, and have a great time.
• Learn a foreign language. You will not only gain the ability to speak to more people on planet Earth, you will also expose yourself to new cultures and new ideas. And this makes it more fun to...
• Travel. Everyone loves to travel, right? The best way to do it, though, is to avoid packaged tours and cruises, and get into the daily lifestyle of your destination. This, again, expands your mind as you learn how other people live and think. You will find that this exposure will change you on the inside. After living in Germany for three months, I again yearn for another opportunity to submerse myself in another culture.

I’m sure there are lots of other ways to be remarkable in your life. I’ve only scratched the surface.

My son likes pink

The blog post, My son is gay, by Cop's Wife at Nerdy Apple Bottom, is about a boy who wanted to dress like Daphne from Scooby Doo, and how his mother stood up to other disapproving mothers at his Christian school. I liked it for several reasons. First, kudos to the son who knew exactly what he wanted to dress up as for Halloween. This holiday is exactly about dressing up as whoever you want to be. And, second, kudos to the mother for telling others that just because he dressed up as Daphne doesn’t mean he is gay. But if he were gay, it wouldn’t matter anyways.

As parents, we have not taught our son very much about girl things versus boy things. He is very interested in cars and trucks and trains, which are typically boyish interests. However, he has a stuffed pink poodle as part of his stuffed animal menagerie. And he still enjoys grooming with the pink Barbie comb and mirror that he got with a McDonalds Happy Meal when they were out of boy toys. His favorite drinking cup at home is the pink cup from a multi-color set we have.

In fact, my son really likes pink, and we have told him, it's okay to like pink. It's a nice, happy color!

The only time I’ve ever discouraged him from something gender specific was when we were shopping for a new swim suit this last summer. We were at Costco, probably buying diapers in bulk, when we passed a table with swim suits for young children. There were two choices:

1. Pink and yellow girls’ swimsuit with big fish on the top, smaller fish design on the bottom.
2. Blue and green boys’ swimsuit with big surfboards on the shirt and smaller surfboard design on the trunks.
   

Which one do you think my son preferred? It was the girls’ swimsuit. He was drawn to it because of the fish motif. He enjoys looking at pictures of fish, and singing the Slippery Fish song. He’s never even seen a surfboard before, so why would he want that?

I talked him out of the girls swimsuit by telling him it was, in fact, a girls’ swimsuit, and it might not fit him right. He went with the boys' swimsuit without much fuss.

Did I feel guilty about it? Just a little. I wasn’t sure if the girls’ swimsuit would fit him, but I also had the fear of what other people, particularly parents, would say. Yes, I felt guilty about the fear I had.

This Halloween, I marveled at the girls dressed up as Woody and Buzz Lightyear. But I didn’t see any boys dressed up in girl costumes. I aspire to be fearless like Cop’s Wife and let my son be a kid and have fun no matter how he is dressed, or what color he prefers.

Elmo!

Today is my son's Halloween party at school. He is quite excited to be Elmo.

Spending time wisely

A few days ago, my partner and I were talking with a neighbor whose son is 18 months older than ours, and he revealed that his son is now enrolled in karate and soccer which takes up two evenings and Saturday morning each week. I came to the realization that this too could be happening for us very soon.

I’m not ready for my son’s activities to ramp up just yet. I love our evenings after work and school where we play together. Oftentimes, I am the one that cooks for my family. I really enjoy it when my son slides the step stool over to the kitchen counter and brings a couple of his cars to play with as I cook. I occasionally scold him for touching the food when I know he hasn’t yet washed his hands. I let him smell the spices I use. I ask him to help me count the number of cups or teaspoons of whatever it is I am measuring. These are all moments that I treasure.

I know that this age of 2-going-on-3 years old will not last forever. He will eventually not care to count teaspoons with me. He will gain other interests such as karate or soccer or quite possibly something else that might require a uniform, fees, and weekends free. I will not discourage such interests. But I hope that I can teach him to value his free time as well, and that sometimes too many activities can clutter your schedule as well as drain the wallet and leave you frazzled.

Before you conclude that I am against organized activities for my son or for kids in general, I will say that I was involved with the Girl Scouts as a young girl, and absolutely loved it. And when I was in junior high, I started playing in the band and absolutely loved that, too. I made the decision, however, to quit the Girl Scouts so that band was my only extra-curricular activity. I worry about kids these days that have so much to do that they don’t have time to do homework or to simply be kids with unstructured play time.

At this point in my life, I am saying ‘no’ to certain requests of my time because I think it is important to focus on the things you absolutely love and not spend time on the things that you might like just a little bit, or, even worse, things that you don’t like at all. Saying ‘no’ is hard, but it is getting easier for me. All I need to do is remember the things that I value the most and moments like sharing the smells of spices with a two year old.

Kids get it: “Where’s your other mommy?”

As recent as 5 years ago, a study revealed that Generation Y (people in their 20s typically) is rather tolerant and open-minded about gay people. But as the current media obsession with gay and bullied youth committing suicide shows, we still need to make progress in acceptance of LGBT people. In the last several days, I’ve read about blatant hatred at sporting events that involved younger people. Both of these stories amazed me and disgusted me.

After days and days of reading depressing anti-gay news, I find myself still hopeful. I read about organizations like the Trevor Project, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, and the NOH8 Campaign, to name just a few, and I feel much more hopeful about the future ahead for my son and his generation. Other organizations that I have just learned about in the last week, the Make It Better Project and GroundSpark, are finding ways for young people to work together to fight hatred and homophobia.

And I’m still even more hopeful for kids that are my son’s age. Just yesterday, I was sick and asked D to take our little man to school (I’m usually the one who does drop offs). D told me that one of our son’s classmates came up to him with a concerned look and asked, “Where’s your other mommy?” In his two and three year old group, they understand that families come in all different shades, and varieties, and are not bothered in the least that our son has two mommies. I am hopeful that this attitude will continue to grow and become the norm for his generation.

Tomorrow, October 20, 2010, is Spirit Day, and all are encouraged to wear purple to remember those lives lost and to show support for LGBT and straight youth. I will be wearing purple tomorrow. Will you?

Train ride

The little man is enjoying his first train ride at Shady Springs, Austin, TX. This was taken a few days ago.

Today we went to his favorite Saturday lunch place, Wendy's, where he likes to get the chicken nuggets. As we were leaving, he said my favorite words: I love you, mommies.

Stylin'

We played with hair gel this morning. Then he wanted to take the gel out. And then he wanted a hair cut. Guess I'll be doing that this weekend.

Wheels on the Bus

Yum!

Cheeseburger and fried zucchini at Athenian Burger.

Sometimes I need two straws...

360 bridge

We took our son to the 360 bridge this last weekend. His words: "Wow! Big!" He was so excited to be there, and he didn't want to leave.

Mickey hat

We have rediscovered this knit Mickey hat and decided to model in the mirror.

Haircut by Mama, pajamas by Sesame Street

A few weeks ago, I decided to save $15 at the barber's and cut the little man's hair myself. It was a good thing, because that was 20 minutes of non-stop screaming. I, of course, can see all of the crooked spots, but overall, I think it turned out fine. Here he is post-haircut and bath, and sporting his new Elmo pajamas, which he loves.

Día de los muertos and Requiem

Two weekends ago, though I was pretty beaten down by a cold, I dragged myself out of bed to go Austin's Día de los muertos celebration downtown. It's a parade and street festival with tents and a stage for live music. It's only a block long, and we didn't stay very long, but all three of us really enjoyed it.



Unfortunately that was the highlight of my otherwise lost and bedridden weekend. Here are a few more photos of the little man on the playground.



This last weekend was a little better for me. Last Friday, the little man wore his handmade Superman costume (thanks J!) to school. He didn't want to wear the removable cape, though, even though I tried to convince him he would be just like Superman and Super Grover. And there were two other Supermans in his class. They were all so cute! That afternoon in his class, they had a little party and both Mama D and I went. Here are a few pictures of the little man before school, struggling to not wear the cape.



Saturday, Mama D played spectacularly with the St. Edward's orchestra, performing Danse Macabre, excerpts from Pictures at an Exhibition, The Noonday Witch, and a little bit of Mahler's Symphony No. 1.

And that Halloween evening, even though he refused to put on his costume, the little man had a great time at J's party. Since this post doesn't have enough photos, here is another slideshow from party.



Sunday was Day of the Dead, and I spent my morning run reflecting on the loss of one of the co-founders of my company to brain cancer. As my lungs burned and I coughed up phlegm (residual from the cold), I thought about what a remarkable life he had. Later that morning, D and I went to Central Presbyterian to hear the performance of the Requiem by John Rutter. It was a Requiem that I had not heard before. The arrangement was made specifically for the Wild Basin Woodwind Quintet. I really enjoyed the music and it was perfect to be in that moment contemplating life and death and everyone.

Pumpkin painting

The little man really likes happy faces. Since he can't draw them himself, he loves it when someone else draws them for him. And if you forget something, like the nose, he will tell you about it. After drawing a few happy faces, he finally started to decorate his Halloween pumpkin that we got last weekend for him. He really enjoys painting, and using all kinds of methods: paint markers, finger painting, and brushes. Hope you enjoy this photo slideshow. It was fun for us watching and helping him paint.

Goofing off at the pumpkin patch

We attempted to take some photos of BabyBoy at the pumpkin patch this weekend. Here you can observe his goofing off skills. First, here he shows he does not want to look at the camara.


Here he is giving his very exaggerated smile. He just started to do this after weeks of me encouraging him to smile so I can brush his teeth.


Lastly, we have the pen cap!

At the Apple Store

This was taken last month at the Apple store. He looks almost as happy as I was getting my new iPod Nano. Actually, I think he is happier. Nothing is like the pure joy of a child.

The little man at day care

Too close!

This is why I don't post too many videos anymore. My son is very aware of the camera and gets too close!

Haircut and watching Norm

New haircut.


And watching New Yankee Workshop with Mama D.